Gift of Hate
by Ollimartic
Summary: Draco Malfoy's thoughts everytime he sees a certain redhead. Drabble.


**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to J.K. Rowling, I own nothing, not even a poster.

**Warning:** PWP, slight OOC.

**Summary: **Draco Malfoy's thoughts as he spies a certain redhead. Set around HBP.

-

Quiet laughter in empty corridors.

Whispered promises of a sure to come future.

Soft touches, a caress, when he thinks no one is watching.

Gentle kisses that tell of something more than infatuation.

A gaze that says "I see only you, I could _love_ only _you_."

* * *

I never saw you as a threat. 

In the beginning you were as meaningless as the others, a minor annoyance at most.

I would have never thought I could envy so much someone the likes of you.

I would have said it impossible in fact, but now I couldn't be more wrong.

Oh, but what I would not give to be you for a day, an hour, a minute, a split second.

I would do anything, damn the entire wizarding world beyond hell if I had to, give anything and everything to be in your place for just the shortest moment.

How typical for a Malfoy to want something we can't have.

We can stare, stalk, plot and _obsess_ as much as we want, but it'll never really be ours.

As much pain as it causes me to say, it's for the best.

-

I see the way he looks at you and I know that there can never be any other option.

Can you imagine how much it hurts to love someone you're not suppose to?

It hurts more than I thought humanly possible to watch him everyday, wishing he were mine, but knowing that he never will be.

You of all people would understand my despair, wouldn't you?

You used to watch him as well, just as you used to wish he were yours as well.

You know the feeling.

You date others, flirt outrageously, do anything to forget that he's with someone else.

Nothing you do ever works.

He's always on the back of my mind.

He's the first person I see in any crowd, because I'm always looking for him.

People would laugh at the mere idea of he and I being friends, not that I give damn.

I don't want to admit it, but they're right to laugh.

We're destined for different things.

He's supposed to defeat the Dark Lord and save the entire wizarding world.

Like we all know he will.

And if Father ever found out...

The amount of danger I would place him in...

Just a little longer and we might never have to cross paths again, just a little longer.

I have to be strong and keep pretending for his sake.

His sake only and no one else.

Never.

There can only be him.

-

It cracks my heart just a little more every I have to hurl an insult his way and pretend to loathe all that he is.

If only he knew what I really feel for him, maybe he would not hate me so.

Then again maybe he would pity me and think me all the more pathetic, but it's not like I'll ever know.

Just as he won't ever know how much his smile brightens my day.

I know that I can never make him happy.

Anyone with eyes can see you bring him joy.

You can make him smile and laugh when not even his friends can.

When I wish I could.

So many nights I've cried myself to sleep now.

Countless tears I've spilled for that boy.

All the heartaches and heartbreaks, the crushed dreams and shattered hopes.

In the end though, it's all worth it.

So what does it matter to me if I am miserable.

I'd let that bloody hippogriff attack me again if it meant I could make him laugh.

Just to hear him laugh, knowing it was because of me.

Anything to see him happy.

That's how it will be.

I will stand by each and every day, watch him love you, and bear this slowly dying heart in quiet, because he will be happy.

There is no hope for me, no fairytale ending.

It's all for you.

You get to be the damsel in distress, saved by the prince charming of my dreams.

Even the happily ever after is yours for the taking.

But me?

I will always be the villain of the story.

The fool for love.

I may love him, but you, you Ginny Weasley, I will _always_ hate you.

I hate that I cannot be you.

I hate that I cannot be the one Harry Potter loves.


End file.
